More to come…

It’s a human’s natural desire to know and be known. To be known for something, and as someone. This challenge to find our identity is one that persists. As a Christ follower, our greatest identity is in salvation that came through Calvary. So we’re told, “boast in nothing but the cross.” However, honesty will lead us to admit that often, this is not how we live.

Identity is a challenge that must be dealt with intentionally. My search for definition, identity, meaning and worth is not unlike a hungry teenager (or college student) in a gas station convenience store reaching for whatever is cheap to lessen the hunger pangs and satisfy a desire at hand.

Identity, if left alone and unsupervised will clothe itself in whatever wins, successes, friends, failures, relationships, jobs or titles that it can. So as I do from time to time,  I allow my identity to get too close and wrapped up in things which are not for clothing use at all.   Recently I’ve experienced a sort of throbbing pain as I’ve given up a title of my own. It was a title that I wanted in the back of my mind for years. To be called a Technology Director was more than just a job, it was a childhood dream-come-true. For a year and a half I wore that title but a leading from God prompted me to release it and move on to something new. Yet my ‘Identity’, that twin within, had tightly clothed itself with the title “TD”. The transition felt more like ripping than a smooth passage from one place to another.

Maintaining our proper identity in Christ is a struggle, and I’ve come to think it’s a struggle God has intended. This struggle to be known is one that forces us back time and again to revisit the hallways deep within ourselves where we find our sense of self-hood. Its a walk that should remind us of the value we hold in the eyes of the creator, and the price we were purchased for redemption’s sake. Yet within these hallways, hung up on the walls beside and around the paintings which display the grandeur of salvation we too often allow the hanging of our own accomplishments, most prized plaques, and trophies. What a shame to amend a display of the creator’s work with our own.

As I think about the maintenance of my identity, I envision my mind as if it were like a swimming pool, clear on only it’s best days. At the bottom, embossed deeply into the concrete is a declaration of my most significant identity that I am Christ’s. Yet if I am not intentional, it’s only a short matter of time before the debris of life fall into the water and settle upon the pool floor; making it difficult at best to read  Christ’s bold claim on my Identity.

Perhaps then, its time for a cleaning? A deep, intentional gaze to the bold words stamped into the base of our minds? A revisitation of the masterpieces painted on our very lives displaying the story of salvation? You and I both have been named dear children of God. We are known as the very image of himself, his very namesake, yes, there is a definite resemblance. In this, may we find our worth, our purpose, our definition and our identity is constant.

To mature without muddling about in misery

To rise after falling without aching anguish

O to produce the ‘end’ without pain

Does such process exist?

.

I reluctantly remember that preceding renovation, there must first come demolition

If bricks burst forth lament as wrecking balls swung blow after blow

within their vocabulary I’d learn more about creating than man has ever known

of that which only through pain can one up and grow,

would the words of those blocks clearly make known.

.

Though I am not mortar, but man

Within myself, is one under de-construction,

requiring and resisting most difficult instruction.

This is a Renovation of Heart

Of my values for those of one greater

Of my passions for that of Christ

Of my goals, for the dream of heaven

The ‘end’ is promising, but the process is ever painful

.

There is cost among creativity for all vessels of clay,

of this I am learning as an object of The Creator.

There is pain amid the process, it seems each day,

of this I am experiencing as I progress in life

Yet there is grace anew each morning. Though unmerited; I’ll grab hold and I’ll stay to watch. To watch and to hope for that which I’m certain to one day see.

Psalm 5:3 In the morning you hear my voice. In the morning I pray to you… and I watch

I am simply perplexed with our calling heavenward (Philippians 3) and I’m contrite to consider how I often neglect working toward that call.

The writer of Hebrews describes the action of “going to heaven” as an ongoing process. This is not a mere single ‘call’ as though you hear the voice of God and simply turn your life in a moment the way a car turns a corner.

This is a call-ing.
It’s proceeding.
It’s progressing.
It’s ongoing.
This is a struggle.

In the life that God wishes for us as redeemed children He intends no breaks from the journey heavenward. Yet often, I make one. I ‘sit down’ just off the path after summiting a ‘hill’ or some difficult situation, or I ‘pause’ a moment too long to relax and loosen up while looking out on all that is the ‘world.’

In these breaks from the struggle heavenward, on these spiritual plateaus, it’s possible and even satisfactory to live within ourselves.

This, is a precarious survival.

On the plateau, we live with the skills and gifts God has given us to sustain a life that does not need God. There is little struggle upon the flat resting grounds of the plateau, and therefore we need not exercise much faith. On the plateau, just off the path heavenward, years pass as though days and the false restful assurance seeks to keep us content where we are. Though in effect we are only content with the plateau because we easily forget the delight of the Lord and the captivation of being called heavenward.

We are not designed to live this way.
I should not think I’m able to make it on my own.
I should should have to realize my need for God everyday.

…And so the captivating call heavenward beckons from the heart of our creator, “I have a better life for you than you can attain on your own!”

God is calling us to struggle heavenward in everything, and know that only in him there is strength to do so.

God is calling us to desire heaven more than anything, and know that only in him is an eternal satisfaction.

God is calling us to live lives that are beyond our ability…

…To speak beyond our comfort

…To lead beyond our competence

…To love beyond our capacity

…To follow with a faith that is brawn

…and live with a vigorous hope.

…all so that we may painstakingly need God to his full capability.

God is calling us to true LIFE which is too difficult for us to attain, that in him we might attain the unattainable.

Philippians 3:14
I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

I know that is less than satisfactory if you’re looking for bits of Israel scattered around this blog right now – just know that they are coming. They’ll come in bits and pieces, infused within what has and will continue to become of my faith and journey heavenward.

In case there may be one who is interested, the link below will provide a list and website links to all of the places I will visit.

Israel Study Trip Links

By your selfless love, they will be freed from their selfish prisons.
“By your selfless love, they will know.”

To the extent that you care, you free others to the same
To the extent that you lead for the people, you free them to rise
To the extent that you speak, you free others to be articulate
To the extent that you create, you free others to imagine
To the extent that you listen, you free others to become teachers
To the extent that you live with passion, you free others to close their eyes and sing out their soul,
And to the extent that you love, you free others to love